Lord of the Flies
2005-07-07 ~ 10:19 p.m.
I believe I've got something I can live with for now. Its not exactly the greatest html but its better than a lot of assy pages I've seen around here.
(Worry not, i'm simply hating on the fact that i'm considered an "elder" of diaryland simply for being 27.)
My condolences to any and everyone affected by the London attacks. I'll never understand what killing and injuring innocent civilians will accomplish other than further confusion in this world of massive bullshit.
how's that for deep thinking?
Jesus saves, d*landers... Jesus saves.
Not to forego these attacks, but I'm afraid if I go any further this page may become anti-humanity.
I've got much to say if I'm to update from my previous diary. I've told myself to keep the previous entries confidential simply because I'm too lazy to go reorganize it to where it might make sense.
I'm a former Hellmart employee. I believe all walmarts to be the spawn of hell. Wasted 3 years of my life in that store and what do I have to show for it? ...
... a blue vest, and a few cutters. The very same cutters which have caused me many a scar on my arms and hands... my beautiful hands.... ruined.
Aside from this fact, I should also mention I've held my own apartment now for roughly 8 months. Actually I owe it to my cuzins pity upon me for allowing me to rent her upstairs space for 250 a month.
Nonetheless, the space is my own.
Yes siree... I've now come to realize what it is to mop, sweep, vacuum, dust, clean a toilet, scrub a tub, wash daily dishes, cook (sometimes) and clean greasy murk off a stove and oven.
ok so i haven't actually cleaned my oven ... its simply too intimidating.
I've only a few complaints thus far.
If I may just remind you I did say I live above my cousin. My cousin whos only conversations include money, sex, and food... and how great she is in each of these matters.
For the sake of not airing family dirty laundry, I'll simply state that the floors are thin in my restroom.. which just so conveniently happens to be above her bedroom.
I'll admit that I haven't heard much of anything within the last few weeks, but perhaps I've developed the ability to block out the noise naturally.
Several a'nights I've come to near combustion of my bladder simply from refusing to enter the restroom where sounds would only be amplified.
... we shan't be surprised if by age 40 I have zero control over my organs.
Last week seemed rather interesting as I walked into my kitchen and realized my entire window shade was covered with 20+ flies.
I had to spend a few nights at moms house before I was able to get the Boyfriend to mosey over to eliminate the problem.
Being the ornery boy he is, he sprayed the buggers with raid, and simply left the carcasses to rot all over the floor. I suppose he assumed I'd grab a broom and dustpan....
... he assumed incorrectly.
Come nightfall he left my apartment around midnight, and just as I lay my sleepy little head down on the softest fluffiest pillow ever....
a strange buzzing sound whizzes past my face...
... apparently he missed one.
So whats a girl to do? .. err, excuse me.. whats a girl whos always been afraid of insects to do?
... well, she's to muster all thats in her, grab a can of hairspray (because God forbid she enter the carcass filled kitchen for the raid) and spray, spray spray...
.... little did i know that hairspray merely left them paralyzed for a short amount of time. I managed to mash him into the carpet after he was left immobile.
Suddenly I was on top of the world, and I went back to laying my gorgeous locks on the pillow of fluff...
*buzzzzzzzz buzzzzzzzz buzzzzzzz*
... yep.
another little shit.... and the process repeats itself, not once, not twice... not even thrice....
... 4 more... 4 more buggers remained and hid well until my boyfriend left the premises. Its a wonder I didn't run out of hairspray...
eventually it came to the point of 25 fatalities in my kitchen, and 5 in my living room.
The little bastards.
Morning comes as the sun beats down on my cherub state of sleep... I awake to silence and suddenly glance towards the bathroom....
... yes, the one room i've managed to dodge simply because I knew the possibility of more buggers.
The space is tiny, and I manage to peek in. The only thing I cant see is the window and the tub as the shower curtain is hiding both. I make it a point not to move the curtain as I hear faint buzzing... and I know they're waiting....
... I pack a few things and head to my mothers.
Another 2 days pass at mothers before I managed to get the Boyfriend back to my apartment to sweep the killing field that is my kitchen....
I nonchalantly and ever so slyly suggest he check the restroom... just in case some managed to slip away.
Sure enough, the shower curtain is pulled and two bodies are recovered in the tub... (death of natural causes I presume)
.. seconds later, he raises the blinds on the window and a massive 8-10 flies cling for dear life.
... and again, out comes the raid.
The boyfriend comes out triumphant and my apartment is finally fly-free.
We haven't determined how such a number crept into the place but rest assured I had him seal ever nook and cranny in the windows before I even let him spend quality time with me...
... because after all... thats love.
Now if you will all excuse me, I must make yet another appointment with the Boyfriend as its days later and I've managed to find a few more fatalities on my kitchen floor.